I don't think I'm a very creative writer. I'm a good writer in that I write well with good grammar, for the most part. But the entertaining part that many writers possess is not my strong point. In my military job, we do a LOT of writing - and a lot of stealing other people's work, it's basically legal plagiarism. So I'm going to do the same here, but I'll cite the author.
The book is called Get Married: What Women Can Do to Help it Happen by Candice Watters. I'm reading it on Amazon.com which means I can only read selected portions, but I like some things I've read, particularly this passage about Genesis 2.
In this passage, the Lord God said, "It is not good for man to be alone." So God said, "I will make a helper suitable for him... So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs and closed the place... Then the Lord God made a singles group, and he brought it to the man to alleviate his loneliness!" LOL! Ms. Watters goes on to say - Of course that's not what the text says. Why is it then that I so often hear this Scripture used to explain our need for just about any relational structure except marriage?
She makes the point that God's solution to Adam's loneliness was to bring him a spouse. And that singles shouldn't be ashamed or embarrassed that they desire marriage because it was created by God to fill a void. Adam was already in perfect harmony with God and yet God called his creation not good. So God knew that Adam needed this spousal relationship to be fully fulfilled. I'm sure there are other lessons from this passage, because I've heard them all already but Ms. Watters' explanation makes a lot of sense to me.
Because I'm not fulfilled, I'm not content, I'm not satisfied. I'm as happy as I can be single, and thankful for all that God has blessed me with, but I know there is something missing. One of my friends on deployment was my civilian boss who sat right behind me for 3 months, who teased me endlessly and whom I became pretty close with. However, close to the end of deployment, he said something so painfully true it hurt. Someone commented that I looked very happy and someone else said how could I possibly be depressed, since I was going home next week? My boss pipes in with 'Well, it could be sad if you're not going home to anyone.' I glared at him, 'What did you say?!' Then he followed it up with, 'Well, it's true you're not going home to a husband and kids are you?' Really?!!! Who says crap like that? I was surprised at his callousness. I guess he didn't realize how badly it would come out, and he did apologize profusely afterward, saying he meant it was one possible reason one could be depressed in that situation, but... really?! That's only one of the things I struggle most with in my life, as he was well aware. I know he wouldn’t purposely cause me pain; he just didn't realize how close to home he hit.
It's true, coming home from deployment to no special someone is rough. Most deploy and then come home to kids and/or spouse that have been patiently waiting just for them to come home. Sure, I have lots of friends and family who missed me, but their lives were not disrupted while I was gone. And no matter how much they lie to me, their lives are not complete now that I'm home. :} I want that with someone. Is it so much to ask to have one person waiting for only me to come home?
On that note, I don't know what to do to change this plight. I was at home and stable for 3 years in between deployments. During that time, I dated 5 guys for a couple months each, getting outside the box and giving several that weren't "my type" a chance. I also have given staying in one place a chance. I stayed at one church for 7 years, never finding someone with whom there was a mutual attraction. I understand that it's difficult to find someone when I'm constantly moving around, but I didn't find someone when I stayed in WA from 22 to 29 or from 30 to 32. So I'm gonna pursue other things. I might go to Germany for a short assignment. I like to travel. I might try a new career, which might mean a geographical change. I'm not gonna hold back just because staying in one place might be better for landing a husband. I'm not bitter, just moving forward. I want to be married, but can't guarantee that's gonna happen for me, so I will pursue my life.
The same boss told me multiple times that he was stunned that I was not married by now. He knows I am a Christian and am looking for the same. His answer to that, as a nominal Christian, 'These Christian guys have been letting you down for years. Maybe it's time to try something new.' I can't tell you how tempting that is when I get lonely. Please pray with me that I won't let my principles go. As another good, Christian guy friend told me when he found out I was a virgin - Treasure that, be proud of that, and don't let one moment of weakness make you later look back with regrets. You don't want to say, I waited 33 years, but couldn't wait 6 months longer till I found the love of my life. Dear God, I don't want to say that, but oh how I want to find the love of my life.
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