Well, DJ has told me that he didn't feel the connection last weekend when we were together. I actually had a great time. Isn't that how it usually is? At least that's how it is in my experience. One person always likes the other more.
Until it's the right one, they say. Then you both like each other equally right?
Even though I enjoyed last weekend, there was something missing, now that I'm being completely honest with myself. We were not connected spiritually. We had one faith conversation after church, discussing baptism. He said he's not interested in getting baptized because his mom says it's required for salvation. He said he knows that's not what the Bible says, but he doesn't want to do it for the simple fact it would mean his mom won. At least clue #2 that we aren't connected spiritually. But I'm not gonna say I can't go out with a guy because he's not baptized. So I let it slide for the time being. Oh by the way, clue #1 that we're not connected? The no sex before marriage conversation. It was a total revelation to him. He was far from ready to make that commitment on his own. He only said he was because I believed it. Get a clue, Aimee.
That's how it was with the last guy I dated, Cory. We weren't on the same page spiritually. I almost broke up with him after only one date. But then he came around with a really good spiritual response that got me thinking and I kept it going a little bit more. Now I realize the spiritual connection was much better than it ever would have been with DJ. But I never felt a physical or personality connection with Cory. So that led to me finally letting him go. Only easy to do because of the physical connection missing. I never even cried over that one. I only felt relief.
With DJ, there was a physical and personality connection from the get go. When I met him at Starbucks, he turned around and my heart did a little flip! What? That's DJ?! Doesn't everybody want a feeling like that? And then we had a 4 hour date, followed by a 7 hour date with a great make-out session. But I've come to realize, though I will probably have to learn it again, that the physical connection is not everything. Spiritual sync is really key for me. I have to be able to talk about my faith openly and on the same level.
Please remind me of this when I try to make the same mistake with someone again. Point me back to this blog. I don't like this painful sucky feeling - remember Aimee? So it's better to not let your heart get connected if that really key spiritual connection for you is not there. Does he love Jesus and the Bible like you do? No? Hmm... remember what happened last time?
Not fun, not funny. I will get to that, I promise! In future "waiting" blogs, I will be retracing my steps over the last year, because I will not be dating anyone for probably over a year now. Unless Mr Wonderful is in Africa.
Oh, yeah and not to encourage you to compromise your standards... especially relating to sex before marriage but that is often a deal breaker for guys whether they call themselves Christian or not. Remember we are all a work in progress on God's radar... that goes for the guys you are dating as well as yourself. Sometimes it is easier to see ourselves that way than other people! OK... you have all my words of wisdom now :)
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